Filed under: Uncategorized
you know how people say “its your life, only worry about what makes you happy?“
i hate that saying. because i can’t be happy unless everyone else around me is happy. and i keep making decisions that may make me happy temporarily, and end up hurting the one person i care most about. i’m not sure how this happened. i haven’t figured out myself enough to discriminate between my feelings and my thoughts. i guess that i should have thought of that before i made a spur of the moment decision. and now i can’t be happy without people being upset with me. i think i know what i have to do, but i’m not sure if, as soon as a do it, i’ll change my mind. how messed up is that? i’ve never had to deal with this before. i want to grow up and yet, now i’m wishing that i was seven again so that everything would be easier. things change so fast, and its crazy how one small decision changes everything. something like, if you had decided to call your friend or not. it alters your whole life. i am now completely aware of that. i’m usually the type of person that hates seeing people sap all over the computer, but writing this calms me down a little.
Filed under: Uncategorized
so our downtown holds a “first friday” every month. there are art exhibits, bands, belly-dancers, fire breathers, you name it. after strolling down Artists Row i came across a man holding a FREE HUGS sign at the next block. i just kind of stopped and stared for a second while i watched the people come up and give him a hug, i also noticed that afterwards they were all smiling, and so was he. for some reason i started getting really teary eyed but continued walking down the street. i thought about what i had seen all night, and smiled everytime. i guess that sometimes we focus so much on the negative influence of the world around us, we forget that there is some good in it. i still think about that night and the love that so many people are willing to give to those in need of it, and it inspires me.
this was just something that i had been thinking about for a few days, and i found this video too, let it marinate for awhile, let me know what you think.
Filed under: Religion
so lately i’ve noticed that i have only been praying when i have needed something or wanted something. thats not right. i think of how i might feel if i had a friend that only came to me when he/she needed something from me. i have been going to church constantly, but these last couple of times, it just hasn’t been there for me. and now i know why. i can go to church and youth group, but the other five days of the week, i’m doing nothing for god.
i’ve just been thinking about this a lot lately, and i’m going to try and get better about it.
-maddy,
for my first blog, i thought that i would start off with something thats pretty close to my heart. i agree, jesus christ and my family are both important things in my life, but until i begin to blog on a regular basis i thought that my friends would be a nice subject to write about.
i have a lot of friends, and to write in general about all of them would be a complete mistake, because each one of them differ from one another in so many ways, and they all occupy a separate place in my heart.
the easiest way to do this would be to say that my friends are the desert on my buffet of life. after i finish my meal, i’m diving for the chocolate cake first. my four best friends represent this delicious cake. corny, right? but on the real, they are the ones i go to for anything, like i would crave chocolate for a sweet fix. then there’s grandma’s famous strawberry short-cake. she brings it every year, and you always have a little piece, but never as much as the chocolate cake. the strawberry short cake can represent the friends that i’ve had for awhile. they’re not the closest to me, but just like the short-cake, they are still always there. the friends i’ve lost, the ones i want, and the ones who have left=ice cream. sometimes i’ll get some, and sometimes i’ll overlook it because i’m too busy diving for that cake.
